Emotional Health & Postpartum Changes

Over the next few posts we will be talking about emotional health and strategies to keep in touch with our mental health. Todays topic is emotional health and changes postpartum.

This is a big topic and one that I want to spend some time with. Pregnancy and birth require so much of us physically and mentally and both aspects require attention and both are equally important. I want to emphasize how valid and important it is to meet your emotional needs during this postpartum period.

Now that baby is here you will be contending with not only hormones but also a new life, both yours and the one you created. You will be learning who they are, a new schedule, and a new level of intimacy with your partner, wanted and unwanted “help”, sleep and no sleep. Each of these things come with their own emotional components so being able to recognize normal ups and downs and those that may require more help will keep you one step ahead in identifying if you or your partner need some more help.

I think that most of us have heard of the “baby blues” and postpartum depression. There can also be mild depression or what some call postnatal exhaustion and post delivery stress. All of these conditions are very real and very important to acknowledge, validate and get help if needed. It is important to remember that you have just gone through a GIANT change physically and emotionally all at once. Your hormones are adjusting, your body is adjusting and your world is adjusting. It is %100 okay to feel emotionally overwhelmed, tired, happy, sad, all of it. Knowing when you need help is what we want to help with.

Baby Blues

Let's talk about baby blues first. The baby blues are a very common part of adjusting to your new life, but those blues should only last a couple weeks. It is 100% normal to be emotional after the birth of your little human. You have just been through a huge event. Depending on how smoothly your birth went you may be dealing with trauma on multiple levels and now you have to deal with healing, hormonal changes, again, and learning how to be a new mom!! It’s a big deal and being emotional is part of it. So give yourself permission to experience the emotional piece and know that you are completely normal. I mean that with all my heart you are 100% normal and what normal may look like for you will be different then what normal is for your friends or family.

Common symptoms of the blues are: 1.crying for what feels like no reason 2.anxiety, worry, mood swings 3. feeling overwhelmed 4. Changes in eating habits and sleep (let's be honest, how could these not change with a newborn).

I personally think that when dealing with the baby blues and the overwhelm that comes with being new parents setting boundaries for yourself and others is key. Doing this can be a really helpful way to manage the emotional rollercoaster.

I am going to do a whole post on this but for now some examples of things that you could do to set boundaries are; if you have a bunch of friends who are just itching to come visit you, make a schedule and only allow friends to visit a certain time or amount of time. Its okay to say no too! Let them know they can’t visit because you need time to recover. Or if you have a bunch of friends who want to bring food, have your best friend, parent, partner set up a meal train and let them take care of it. I also believe that figuring out who is going to be your support system before the baby arrives is useful so you don’t get rollercoastered by the sister-in-laws who know everything, the aunt who is to loud or the uncle that smokes.

Sleep! I think we all know the connection between sleep and mental health. This is a big one, and one that I didn’t take seriously enough myself. Sleep whenever the baby is sleeping! Do it! In those first few weeks give yourself permission to do this, leave everything else. It can wait and you need your sleep. A large part of our emotional well being is rest and sleep. Without sleep everything else becomes unmanageable and heightened. When baby takes a nap you take a nap or rest completely.

Physically speaking there are also herbal tinctures and supplements that are safe while breastfeeding that can help with balancing hormones and thus can be helpful with managing the blues. Oftentimes these supplements are just herbs that help with the management of stress and calming the nervous system. There is a great company called Wish Garden Herbs that makes some tinctures for hormonal support postpartum. One is called Rebalance and the other is called Baby Blues. You can also have your placenta encapsulated and take this as a supplement which has been shown in some studies to help rebalance the body and help with emotional support.

You can also seek out an acupuncturist who is also an herbalist who can prescribe an herbal formula for supporting your body and emotions at different points of your recovery. There are natural ways to support hormonal balancing that are safe for breastfeeding moms.

Postpartum Depression

If you have noticed after the baby comes that your baby blues aren’t going away or perhaps your symptoms are getting more intense or worse you may be suffering from Postpartum depression. The symptoms of PPD are much aligned with symptoms of general depression but know that symptoms can sometimes include feelings directed toward the baby, or perhaps feeling like you have no feelings toward the baby.

Symptoms to be on the look out for are; no interest in baby, thoughts of harming yourself or baby, loss of interest in things that you used to enjoy, changes in appetite and fatigue, feelings of guilt or worthlessness, withdrawing from friends or family and trouble with sleeping or eating (beyond the new adjustments to being parents of a newborn). If you have any of these symptoms or your partner notices any of these changes in you then GET help!! Don’t be afraid to ask for help and then get it. Reach out to your Dr., partner, friends, family and counselors.

There are other conditions that moms can experience outside of baby blues and PPD. Some of these are Postpartum Anxiety, Postpartum Psychosis and Postpartum Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Without going into too much detail about these the moral of the story is if you are feeling so overwhelmed by your emotional state and it is negatively affecting you, or the way you treat or interact with baby GET help. Get support. It is %100 percent ok to admit that you are feeling overwhelmed, stressed, not feeling “right.”

Postpartum Daddy Blues

One last thing to mention is Postpartum Daddy Blues. This is a real thing and potentially serious. Think about it, Dad’s world has just been rocked too. Dad is also having to deal with a new human, perhaps new feelings of responsibility, a partner with a new body (honestly), sexual abstinence for the healing period, and an emotional partner that needs tending too, among other things. So just like with momma’s if you are feeling overwhelmed, DAD, lean on your support system too, get help if you feel like you need it. It isn’t a sign of weakness.

Studies have also shown that a man's hormones also shift during pregnancy and after birth. Although the exact reasons are unknown as to why this happens, one school of thought is that perhaps the hormone fluctuation is nature's way of making sure that fathers stick around and bond with their baby. During the process, testosterone levels drop; estrogen, prolactin, and cortisol go up. Some men can even show symptoms such as nausea and weight gain. For most dads this is worse during the 3-6 month period after birth. While lack of sleep is probably the biggest culprit, other possible causes include a history of depression, a dad's rocky relationship with his partner, financial problems or stress, and a sick, colicky, or premature baby.

So pay attention to papa too. Validate and acknowledge their feelings as well and if they need help get it!

The take away is that we are each unique and our postpartum experience is unique. Some of us will need more help and that is %100 ok. Please don’t be scared to reach out for help big or little.

Next post we will talk about setting health boundaries which is important no matter what stage you are in life. Check it out.